#bella blase
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Following that delightful other anon ask, what if Edward was a figment of Bella's imagination? The other Cullen kids exist, and for some reason Bella thinks there is an attractive, single one of them thaf sits next to her in Biology.
Anon's referring to the time Bella was a figment of Edward's imagination.
Bella Arrives in Forks
She still spots the Cullens, Jessica still dishes, she just leaves out the part about the hot red head. Bella assumes he must be dating one of his siblings too and is vaguely disappointed.
Biology is weird and she wonders why the red-headed boy hates her and if she smells weird. Mike doesn't say anything about the Cullen behind her so Bella assumes she overreacted, even when she later sees him storming out of Mrs. Cope's office.
He's not there for the next seven days, and Bella mentions as much, but flushes violently when Jessica gives her an odd look and tells her that all the Cullens are there like usual.
Bella decides not to think about it.
Then Edward's back and talking to her! He's so enigmatic! And hot!
Mike confronts her and asks what she was doing. He noticed her mumbling to herself. Was she practicing for something? (This is the only reasonable thing Mike can think of).
Bella gives him a funny look. He's joking, right? He laughs because Bella's hot and he doesn't want to press. Yeah, sure, he's joking, it's totally a joke, I'm hilarious.
Bella gives him a funny look and spends gym thinking about Edward.
Bella's Hit by a Van
This is all well and good because the next day, Bella's nearly hit by a van. (We'll say that, somehow, she avoids it even as the Cullens booked it into the woods so as not to eat her. Otherwise, this post is boring. You know how it ends.) She believes Edward saved her.
Bella is carted off to the hospital and is seen to by Dr. Cullen.
Bella notes to him that Edward saved her.
Carlisle wracks his brain, trying to think of an Edward in town, and says something like "ah, that's good then". Bella stares at him, wondering why the man is so casual about his superhuman son.
Bella tells him Edward was all the way across the parking lot.
Now it's Carlisle's turn to stare.
"Really?" he asks dumbly, then assures her that doesn't seem right. Edward would have had to be fairly close to her to pull her out of the way in time. This sometimes happens with head injuries.
Bella's kind of miffed at Dr. Cullen for being so blase about this. He's not even appearing as if he's trying to hide anything, he's just acting like he doesn't care.
Edward then comes in to drop enigmatic threats that invites Bella's interest. Here's the secret they were clearly trying to hide! She knew it!
Bella's reinvigorated for all that Edward claims they're in a stalemate.
Edward Ignores Bella, Bella Ignores Edward, No One Notices
Bella now believes Edward's ignoring her so she chooses to ignore him in turn. Those like Mike take this to mean Bella is a normal person who's not interacting with the person that doesn't actually exist.
Until, of course, Edward breaks.
Then Bella goes to have lunch by herself one day out of the blue. Everyone watches, including the Cullens, who wonder why Bella's talking about Spiderman to herself of all things.
"Weird," Rosalie concludes.
Everyone agrees with that.
Bella does also go to the beach, and being interested in the otherwise real Cullens, asks Jacob about it and gets the vampire answer.
Bella Goes to Port Angeles and Uh...
Well, following canon, things go poorly. However, we'll say Bella gets out of this one too somehow. She has dinner with imaginary Edward and notices that Edward doesn't order anything (this is because he doesn't exist). SUSPICIOUS.
Edward then invites Bella to the meadow, which is really just her frolicking around by herself. This is after hours to find her way out as Bella has no idea how she got there and there was no trail to the place.
And Then Things Get Awkward
Bella invites herself to the Cullens because Edward invites her to the Cullens. Bella, of course, is horribly concerned she'll make a bad impression and makes sure to wear her best khaki skirt and blue top. Edward assures her she looks stunning.
She gets to the Cullens house and finds Dr. Cullen standing at the doorway, staring at her dumbly.
"Ah ha ha ha, Edward invited me," she explains.
Carlisle continues to stare.
Edward from school who saved Bella Edward? That Edward? That Carlisle still isn't sure attends Forks High? And he invited Bella to... the Cullens house.
Well.
This is awkward.
"Terribly sorry," Carlisle explains, "He, um, had no right to do that. Please go home."
Bella now is mortified beyond imagination. She's been rejected! Just as she thought she would be because she's human! Edward had been wrong (indeed, hallucination Edward is aghast, how could Carlisle?!)
Bella explains it's fine, Edward told her they're all vampires, and that they eat animals and she's totally okay with it.
Now Carlisle's really staring.
"Pardon?" he asks in a panic.
Edward can only be from the Quileute tribe, he thinks, for all that name's still not familiar.
"You simply must leave," Carlisle then says and slams the door. That's it, they have to get out of town.
Bella is mortified when, the next week, the Cullens have packed up (sans Edward who remained behind for his girlfriend) and left town. Edward comforts her through this and promises he'll live with her for the rest of her human life.
"Turn me!" Bella demands, as then she can join his family for real.
Edward, who isn't real, gives her a slightly strained smile, "Later, Bella."
Bella is not turned.
#twilight#twilight meta#twilight headcanon#twilight renaissance#bella swan#edward cullen#the cullens#carlisle cullen#meta#headcanon#opinion
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@exquisitexagony | SEND ME AN 🍊 AND I’LL TELL YOU IF MY MUSE WOULD PEEL AN ORANGE MANDARIN FOR YOUR MUSE
Both Bella and Flynn would absolutely peel oranges for Sami. Flynn's would look terrible LMAO and Bella would bring them a plate with slices on it and all the stringy bits picked off because now that I think about it you don't peel oranges but mandarins.
Bella would also peel one for Arthur but she'd be much more blase about it.
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bellablase: We all have that one weird friend... haha ilysm but wait come/swim back 🦈
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bella goth? more like bella punk
#bella goth#this edit is literally...not good#but it's my first ever edit so you can't be mean to me about it#i did such a bad job of cutting out the wall behind her#but that's what happens when ur too cheap for photoshop#tihi#oh well#now back 2 my regularly scheduled legacy#pose by ratboysims#ratboy blase#ts4 edit
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Hello, my love! 🩷
Ahaha no worries, hun!! Now you get to read Parts 2 and 3 without having to wait! ��
I leave an hour for each stage of getting ready.
Exactly! And an extra hour for cushion! You get my math. 😂
But yes, I really wanted to call back to moments in BMD, and a red dress for Christmas seemed a perfect time to shoutout the night they met. 🥲 I'm so glad you enjoyed the description of the fit. I had a really fun time researching dresses and how to visualize it narratively!
[On Ben buying her earrings from an old-school catalogue lol]: It's my headcanon that with the kind of money this guy has, being a little rich boi, he'd like to bling his girl out. Now, our reader's not materialistic (and probably wasn't given many gifts as a kid/over the years with the hard lifestyle she led), so she really takes those gifts to heart.
THEY’RE SO CUTE OMGGG!!! Him modernising for her, and Pookie dipping her toe into the vintage era for him 🥹
Exactly my goal here! I knew you would pick that out. 😘
Benjamin, that would entail messing up the hair and makeup that took ages to perfect 🖐️
Well, ordinarily yes, but Trina's stress is gonna push our girl to the brink this time. 😅
LOL you're right, Marie treating him like a son is ironic when you remember his real age. 😂 But yeah, Louisa's being a bit salty. She has her reasons, but still. 🫠
“You’d told him about Alexa and Siri and all those techno bitches out there now, controlling people’s houses. He didn’t trust it.” — Omg this is such a funny concept to me, Ben learning about all of this shit would be hilarious 🤣 and it’s even funnier that he doesn’t trust it LMAOO!!
Isn't that just the best visual? Ben interacting with Alexa like she's a real fucking person, being confused and suspicious AF. 🤣🤣
And of course he gravitates to George. They're the closest in age! 😂 But it was so fun shading in the reader's family, especially with George, with her sense of humor/mischief coming from him.
When I see ‘Mets’ it reminds me of a club we have in Brisbane called ‘The Met’.
Oh that's so cool!!
Stan grandma for clear skin. At least Ben can’t hit on her with her being dead…
LOL wait 'til Great Aunt Sylvia meets him in Part 3. 😂
Oh it’s easy, just say that one of his dipshit employees at the time kidnapped you for no good reason, and so Soldier Boy nobly… uhh… kept you on house arrest, and eventually killed aforementioned dipshit.
LMFAO a nice and easy summation. But omfg your comments on Trina had my dying a million deaths. 🤣🤣 Some of my favorites:
Does this mean that EVERYONE can spit the truth? Because Trina I’ve gotta say, you’re a big mouthed slag who nobody likes because you give thoughts that nobody even asked for 🤙
TRINA YOU SLUTBAG THAT WAS SO OUTTA POCKET!
Trina why the fuck are you so obsessed with weight?? Who HURT you?
Believe me, you get this a lot in Latino/Hispanic households. It's obnoxious. 🙄🙄 Meanwhile, they be eating a whole tray of custard flan by themselves.
Ben’s intro to her family was less chaotic then I thought, he funnily enough just got to chill with the oldies.
Lol that's true! His turn will come more in Part 3. But while I don't have a "Trina" to this degree in my family, I have had grandmothers who made unsolicited opinions on weight and beauty, etc. 🥲
It was fun to see Ben and George interact though, I was curious to see how he might react to his granddaughter dating a man as old as he is and I love that it wasn’t even brought up.
...This is a great point, actually lmao. I could've explored that a bit more. But when I think about it, the boomer era was known for being kind of blase about age gaps. Granted, Ben's 102 and the reader is less than half his age. 🤣
But he's in this 45-ish man body, so it's almost like an Edward Cullen/Bella situation -- the age gap is so wide it doesn't even really matter anymore. What matters is the differing rates at which both of them will continue to age.
Though the reader does have to contend with Louisa's opinions on Ben's age. So there's that. 🤣
I'm so glad that you enjoyed Part 2!! I'm very excited to see what you think of Part 3. 😘😘
Love Actually - Part 2
Paring: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader
Summary: You and Ben steel yourselves in order to meet your crazy family for Christmas dinner.
AN: Here’s the requested Part 2! It got too long, so I had to break it up lol. There will be a Part 3 after this (final part). I also tried really hard to find an image/gif that would match this chapter better, but alas, there are only so many pictures of this scruffy guy. (And none in a real suit. 😂)
Read Part 1
Remember, this story is set in the same world as “Break Me Down,” and set before “Checkerboard.” But this can be read as a stand-alone! Hope you enjoy…
Word Count: 4,800 Tags/Warnings: Tense situations, bit of angst, lots of sexy fluff
Part 2: "Season’s Greetings"
Ben checked his watched again.
He’d lost count of how many times, how many minutes, how long he’d been waiting for you to come down the goddamn stairs so he could get this night over with.
You’d been getting ready for this dinner with your family for four hours. How long did it take you to slap on some makeup and throw on a dress?
Finally, he heaved a sigh and got up from the couch, adjusting the watch on his wrist. He stayed by the foot of the stairs and called up to you.
“Hey. What’s taking so damn long?” he asked. His brows were furrowed, mouth set in an aggravated frown. “I already told you. I’m not planning on being at this thing all night. So if you don’t come down here in the next ten minutes, I swear to fucking Christ—”
Ben stopped short, as he heard your footsteps at the top of the stairs. When he looked up with expectant, pursed lips, his face subtly froze.
“What? What’re you gonna do?” you teased. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you grasped the guardrail and carefully made your way down the stairs. These heels were no joke.
You had a black suede clutch tucked in your other hand, but Ben was drawn to the bright red of your dress. The color alone appealed to him. It called back a memory of a musty club, rich whiskey, and the dulcet tones of your voice.
But now, this dress was shorter. It also hugged your every curve and stopped just a few inches above the knee. He noticed a tantalizing little slit in the back, at the hem, leading his eyes down your sheer pantyhose and down to the tall, black heels.
His lips formed a teasing smile. “You sure you can walk in those?”
But you could see the truth in his eyes; he liked what he saw. They raked back up your body, taking in the short sleeves, the slight plunge of the neckline, the red lipstick as bright as your dress, the soft sweep of eyeliner and dark lashes—and you hoped he noticed the way you’d painstakingly done your hair into soft, ‘40s style waves.
“Do I look shaky to you?” you countered.
Ben tilted his head slightly as he stared up at you. “Not one bit.”
He reached out for you on the last step of the stairs. You took his hand and gave him a grateful look, but your hand didn’t stop there. It grazed up the sleeve of his suit jacket as you took him in with a smile.
Not often one to don a simple black suit, Ben went with a charcoal gray against a crisp black undershirt. No tie though, leaving the first couple of buttons casually open.
“Look at my man, all sharp and modern and sexy as hell,” you purred. He accepted the praise with a pleased quirk of his lips.
Normally you wouldn’t try to feed his peacock-level pride too much. He knew he was a damn fine-looking man. However, you also knew he wasn’t totally into meeting the rest of your family tonight. You knew you needed to give him a (well earned) ego boost.
“Gotta match my girl,” said Ben. Though he fingered the ends of your softly curled hair with a more genuine glint to his smile. “Though you’ve gone a bit vintage.”
“Compromise.” You grinned, and you leaned up for a soft kiss.
He met you there, even pressing his luck when his tongue begged entrance against your lips. You held his cheek and brushed your thumb there tenderly, but you soon broke away.
“We’ve got somewhere to be,” you reminded him. Ben sighed through his nose, though his hands molded to your waist.
“I didn’t realize you were that kinky,” he said. His voice was deep and suggestive. Your face started to heat up, even as your brows knitted with confusion.
“What?” you asked.
“I know you’re not gonna make me wait all night to get a taste of this,” he said. And he leaned down to begin plying you with his heavy hands and his lips along your neck. “I gotta assume you want me to fuck you in your mom’s house.”
You uttered a shocked laugh. You batted his shoulder, even though it didn’t even make him blink. His lips curved as they grazed your neck. He inhaled under your ear, making a pleasant shudder run down your spine. He hummed in approval.
“Is that the perfume I got you?” he asked.
“Mhmm,” you nodded. “I like it a lot. Makes me feel all warm and spicy.”
Ben chuckled into your neck. He did pull back eventually to thumb around the edge of one of your earrings—the second part of his Christmas gift to you. The white stone and silver filigree shone in the light.
“They look good,” he remarked, giving you a charming smile. “Better on you than the catalogue girl.”
Now that was an image. Soldier Boy: browsing through a magazine of women’s jewelry. You smiled brightly at him.
“Thank you, baby,” you replied. “They really are beautiful.”
Then you glanced down to find your gift to him on his wrist: a new silver Rolex. You turned his hand over to make sure that it fit him right.
“Not too tight, right? Not too loose.” you asked.
He shook his head. “Nah, it’s good.”
“Just good? Does it still need adjusting? We can go back to the store and have them fix it—”
“It’s perfect, sweetheart. Stop fussing,” he said. Your lips pursed as you looked up at him from the watch.
“I just want to make sure you’re happy with it, that’s all,” you said.
“I am,” he replied. But his smile, the hidden glint of something in his eyes, made you blush. Inside, you were warm and pleased.
“All right, let’s go then,” you said. “I’ve got the rum cake, and the actual rum ready to go in the kitchen. And the presents are lined up by the door. Can you load those up in the car for me while I get the food?”
Ben obliged you, though he soon balked at the army of presents waiting for him by the door. When did you have time to get all of these? He didn’t remember you buying all this shit.
Though he realized, this must’ve been how you filled your time after work, while he was gone for the past two weeks on that mission.
As he loaded the gifts into the car, Ben reluctantly remembered that it had been…strange, to be away from you. For the past few months, you two had fallen into a rhythm. Waking up to each other, busy morning routines before work, sharing your evenings afterwards.
You had also been making it your mission to find new things to do together. Like paintballing, of all things. Or comedy shows, new movies and restaurants, concerts, club nights with your friends. Though it was weird for him, sometimes, to go to a show without all the celebrity fanfare he used to get as Soldier Boy.
Well, he was still Soldier Boy. He just wasn’t getting paid anywhere near the same as he used to. (But let’s face it, he didn’t need the damn money. He’d earned plenty in 40 years of fame and family inheritance.)
People still knew his name, still worshiped him at times, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t part of Vought’s machine anymore. No one really told him what to do, but if he wanted this life—here, in upstate New York—he was forced to make efforts to color within the lines of the law (mostly). Hell, he actually worked for a living. Even if it was for the government.
The point was, he was part of something. And it wasn’t totally shit, even if he was surrounded by morons on a daily basis…
By the time you opened the passenger side door to interrupt his musings, Ben remembered to actually start the car.
“You okay?” you asked as you clicked in your seatbelt. You were keeping a close eye on him tonight, trying to gauge his shifting moods.
Ben hesitated, but when he glanced over at you, he reached over and thumbed at your chin, under those ruby red lips. It made you smile.
“Yeah,” he replied. Though he let out a subtle breath as he faced the road and took the wheel of the car. Ever perceptive though, you sent him an assessing look.
“You’re not nervous, are you?” you asked. His brows furrowed slightly.
“Why would I be?” he asked, his voice a bit sharp. Defensive, you interpreted.
Instead of answering, you leaned over and laid a hand on his thigh.
“Look, my mom already likes you. Louisa’s going to come around,” you said. Your mouth edged into a smile, of sorts. “I just need you to stop me from killing my aunt with a ladle.”
Ben snorted in response. “All right.”
When the two of you arrived at your mother’s house, she opened the door to her home and greeted your boyfriend like a long-lost son.
“Oh, Ben! Come in, please,” she beckoned, grabbing his arm and guiding him inside. “You look so handsome, my goodness!”
Ben couldn’t help offering a smile. It was infused with his usual charm.
“Marie,” he greeted with a nod. You shook your head, despite your own smile. Ben liked attention—along with a bit of praise and fanfare went without saying. And you knew your mom wouldn’t be the only one to play into that tonight.
“Hi, Mom,” you said pointedly, with a hand on your hip. Marie turned to you with a bright smile.
“Oh! Honey, there you are. Merry Christmas!” She brought you in and hugged you tight. She then fairly gushed as she took in your dress and touched your hair. “Oh, you look so beautiful. I wish you’d come earlier though. I need you to help me and Trina. Come on.”
Marie glanced up at Ben again. “Oh, you too, hun! We can introduce you to everyone.”
Ben nodded. He followed your lead behind your mother, and you inwardly steeled yourself on the way to the kitchen. The familiar smells awaiting you brought you back to the better parts of your childhood. Ones that were filled with music, laughs, and good food.
And if there was one redeeming quality about your Aunt Trina, it was that she could cook her ass off. Since your mom had always been more of the “boxed meal” variety cook, Trina always took over at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and just about every other family gathering.
She was putting the ham in the oven while your sister sat at the kitchen table with your Grandpa George, peeling potatoes. The bigger table in the dining room was currently set up with appetizers and wine.
But the sounds of chatter and pots and pans and cabinets closing—it all stopped when you and Ben entered the kitchen. You felt his hand at the small of your back, and whether he meant it to or not, that familiar touch stabilized you.
Even Trina stopped giving Louisa directions on how to correctly peel and cut the potatoes for boiling. Her mouth opened when she took in the sight of Ben, from head to toe.
“Good evening,” he said, if only to break the silence.
But you knew the rest was up to you. You curled a hand around his solid arm and gave him a smile, before looking to your family.
“Hey, guys. Merry Christmas!” you greeted. “This is my boyfriend, Ben.”
Trina squealed in excitement. She came over (with a wooden spoon in hand) to give you an enthusiastic hug and kiss. She held your arms and looked between you and Ben.
“Your mom said you were dating a superhero, but I had no idea��” she twittered. “I mean…it’s Soldier Boy. He’s in my kitchen!”
“It’s Mom’s kitchen, actually,” you muttered. Trina’s excitement dimmed slightly as she rolled her eyes at you.
“Ever the smart mouth,” she said, playfully whacking you in the ass with her spoon.
Ben smirked. He certainly agreed with your aunt’s assessment. He turned to her to offer something in greeting, but before he could, Louisa’s voice cut in from across the room.
“What should we call you? Ben, or Soldier Boy?” she asked dryly.
You frowned, gave your sister a look. Meanwhile, Ben didn’t quite make it to a smile, but he was civil when he answered her.
“Ben’s fine.”
You remained in the kitchen to help out, while Ben migrated to the living room with your grandfather. Ben grabbed a large glass of wine on his way there, along with a few mini quiche to tide him over until dinner.
He then noticed an old woman sleeping on the leather recliner.
“Who’s that?” he asked George.
“Oh, that’s Great Aunt Sylvia,” George said. “She just took an oxy for her hip. She’ll be passed out ‘til dinner.”
Ben blinked at the casual mention of oxycodone, but he wouldn’t mind a few of what Sylvia was having. Oxy gave him such a nice buzz.
But instead, he and George sat on opposite ends of the couch while Sylvia snored away.
For a moment, it was quiet, save for the soft crooning of Nat King Cole playing (and Sylvia). The music came from a small round speaker on the coffee table, Ben noticed. You’d told him about Alexa and Siri and all those techno bitches out there now, controlling people’s houses. He didn’t trust it.
“You like baseball?” George asked as he turned on the TV. Ben nodded, and the other man put on a game. Mets versus the Cubs, three to one. The men were silent for a while as they watched the game.
Unfortunately for Ben, that peace couldn’t last.
“So,” George started. “You’re a supe, huh?”
Ben inclined his head, sipping at his wine. This was what he fucking hated. Small talk.
“I remember you,” George said. “My wife and I liked that movie you made…King of Kings. With Charlton Heston. What a classic that guy was.”
Ben smiled. “He was a good time. Drank like a fucking fish.”
George raised a brow. “Did he? Well, we all need a glass every now and then.”
Ben nodded, taking a pointed sip of his wine.
“Heston. One of the few celebrities I gave a shit about when he died,” George said with a shake of his head. “Wasn’t long before my wife’s passing.”
You’d told Ben a lot about your grandmother. When your parents got divorced, she’d insisted that you, your mom, and your sister live with her and George. She didn’t want to take any chances with your dad, who’d been more than unstable at the time in his drinking.
Ben didn’t often pray. But he drank then with a silent toast, that good ole’ Jon was getting hot coals up the ass right about now. In hell.
Ben then considered your grandfather’s musings, realizing he hadn’t thought about his old pal Heston in a long time.
“How’d he die?” Ben asked. George glanced over at him.
“Well, official case was pneumonia. But it wasn’t all that clear,” he said. “However, I think he had a flare up.”
“Of what?” Ben asked.
George gave him a wry look. “The fate that all men fear. Ass cancer.”
Ben raised a brow, his mouth twitching. He had a feeling he knew where your sense of humor came from.
“You probably don’t have to worry about that,” George waved a dismissive hand. “You’re still young. Well, sort of…I mean, being superhuman and all that. I’m sure that comes in handy with the normal stuff, like the sniffles and whatnot…and hey! At least you won’t have to worry about your asshole fallin’ out.”
Ben actually smiled. Now he knew you were related to this man.
In the kitchen, you were trying and failing to dodge a game of “Twenty Questions” with your aunt, while you and your sister finished cutting potatoes. All of the questions were predictably centered around Ben. Luckily, you had a plate of mini quiche, cheese, and salami between you and Louisa to keep you pacified.
“Well, you’ve done well for yourself, I’ll give you that,” Trina said. “But why on God’s green Earth didn’t you tell us you were dating Soldier Boy? How the hell did you even meet him?”
Shit. There was more than one reason you hadn’t told the rest of your family yet, and this was partly it. How the hell were you supposed to explain this?
Louisa shot you a knowing look, along with a raised brow.
“Well, I was actually assigned to find him after he…went missing last year,” you said, keeping things purposefully vague. “We met and…things just kind of took off from there.”
Your mom and your sister didn’t even know all the details, but they knew this much. After Soldier Boy used his nuclear power to end Homelander, he’d escaped in the aftermath.
You’d been working a year in Surveillance at Supe Affairs, but you’d been a private investigator by trade, previously working at your father’s firm. You’d even worked at Vought for a few years, before joining the S.A.
You were then recruited by Grace Mallory to track down Soldier Boy, along with Butcher and his team.
…And that’s where things got complicated.
“But isn’t Soldier Boy the one who killed Homelander?” Trina asked. She stopped in her stirring of the cranberry sauce to look back at you. And you met her stare directly.
“Yes. He was partnered with the CIA on that.” Sort of. You added, “Homelander wasn’t the hero you all thought you knew, remember? He was a raging psychopath.”
Trina huffed at that.
“So was your father. And you still worked with him for years,” she remarked, even off-handedly as she went back to stirring.
Your entire body stilled. Inside, your temper was a lit fuse, preparing to ignite. You stuffed a mini quiche into your mouth to stop you from exploding.
And your mom and your sister recognized the danger. Louisa frowned tightly and touched your arm.
She had been too young to form a true relationship with your father by the time your parents were divorced, and your grandparents (and later you) hadn’t allowed Jon to interfere too much with Louisa's life. So Jon’s death, a mere seven months ago, hadn’t truly affected her as deeply as it had you.
And that in itself was complicated.
Marie paused in preparing the sweet potato casserole to give her sister a warning look.
“Trina, that’s not fair,” said Marie.
Your aunt shrugged. “It’s the truth, isn’t it?”
Slowly, you stood. You grabbed a hand towel and brushed the velvety remains of potato skin from your hands. You also took the plate of cheese cubes and salami with you.
“Honey, she just means—”
“I know what she meant, Mom,” you said. Your mother wasn’t confrontational. She would never tell her sister to shut the fuck up when she was being out of pocket.
But you had no problem doing so. You walked over to Trina, who saw the look in your eye and actually relented, realizing that there was, in fact, a line, and she had crossed it.
“Look, I’d like us to continue having a nice evening,” you told her. “Mention my father again, and it won’t be.”
After a moment, Trina nodded.
“You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t mind me,” she said. But then, she smiled. “I’m really happy for you, sweetheart. You’ve got a superhero! Who knew you’d pull that one off, huh?”
Your flat smile remained. “Oh, yeah? How do you mean?”
Trina faltered. Apparently, she hadn’t expected that.
“Oh. Well, you know…”
“No. I really don’t. Can you clarify for me?” you asked, using the same even tone you employed with testy co-workers on the Surveillance team.
Trina sighed. “Oh, honey. You’re a beautiful girl, but…”
“What?” you challenged. “Just say it.”
Behind Trina’s coil of dark hair piled on her head, Marie looked worried. Louisa was also on tenterhooks, gripping the kitchen table. She slowly got to her feet though, in case she needed to intervene.
“Well, I wasn’t gonna say anything,” Trina said. She gestured to you, after grabbing a cheese cube off your plate. “But your hips, hun. I mean, I enjoy a snack. A bon bon. A chocolate eclair. The occasional croissant, but the weight don’t come off easier as you get older, does it?”
You were officially burning like a tea kettle.
“And with a man like that…” Trina fanned herself with the discarded, empty bag of cranberries. “Mother of God. He’s gotta be beating ‘em off with a fucking stick.”
Your mom pursed her lips at the salty language, giving Trina a sharp glance (for multiple reasons).
Trina noticed, but she only popped another piece of salami into her mouth. “Sorry, hun.”
But then she turned back to you.
“And have you talked about kids yet? That’ll be some serious weight gain.”
You let out a sharp breath and raised your gaze heavenward, pleading for mercy.
“Jesus Christ,” you muttered.
“I’m just sayin’!” she said. “He might have forever, but you certainly don’t.”
Now that one struck a nerve. Perhaps not the one she intended, but it cut deeply into you all the same. You and Ben had agreed to pin that conversation for now, but the fact was, he would continue to age much slower than you.
At your steely glare, Trina again raised her hands. This time in placating defense. “I’m trying to help you, is all I’m saying.”
You gripped the edge of the kitchen counter so tight you thought a manicured nail might break off. You’d reached the end of your tether.
“I’ve been here for all of five minutes—”
“Okay, you know what?” Louisa finally stepped in and grabbed your arm. “I need your help. Let’s find the red tablecloth so we can set the table.”
She led you out of the kitchen and into the hall, but you stopped short so fast that you skidded a bit in your heels. You took deep breaths and braced a hand against the wall.
You turned to your sister. “Why doesn’t she attack you like that?”
“Oh, believe me,” Louisa said, rolling her eyes. “I had my turn before you got here. I’ve been locked in with these clucking hens all morning.”
A grin twitched at the corner of your lips.
“My condolences,” you said. But then, you look at your sister a bit harder. “And you. What’s your problem, huh? How long are you going to give Ben a hard time?”
It took her a moment, but Louisa eventually sighed.
“I mean, Aunt Trina’s an asshole, but she kind of said it. He’s literally a century-years-old,” she said. “How do you not have a problem with that?”
You crossed your arms, though you knew you didn’t have a good answer for that one.
“Age is…relative.” You struggled against a wince.
“He lived through the damn Dust Bowl,” Louisa deadpanned. “He’s fucking ancient.”
You glared back at her. “Okay, enough. What’s your real problem, huh? I mean really.”
Louisa let out another sigh. Her hands went to her hips. You hadn’t had a chance to tell her, but she looked pretty tonight too in her black dress. It flared at the waist and reached her knees, and she’d paired it with some chunky red heels. She was a little taller than you normally, but not by much. As the older sister, you enjoyed finally being taller than her for once in your higher heels.
Still, you were annoyed with her right now. You sensed she had something deeper against Ben, and it wasn’t all about his age. When she eventually answered, it just confirmed your suspicions.
“He’s dangerous,” she said at last. “He’s so fucking dangerous.”
That disheartened you. Your lips pressed, and you held onto your own arms a bit tighter.
“Not to me,” you replied. Louisa’s frown deepened as her brows knitted together.
“Especially to you,” she said. “He kidnapped you.”
You gave a wan smile. “Not technically.”
That had been one of his subordinates, who’d taken you outside of Ben’s orders…
It was a long and complicated story, but basically, it had worked out for both of you in the end.
Louisa gave you a more incredulous look. “He’s got an atomic bomb in his chest.”
“He’s working on controlling it,” you insisted. “He’s gotten a lot better!”
Louisa threw her hands upward in exasperation and turned to leave you in the hall. You stopped her with a hand on her arm.
“Look, I get it,” you said, meeting her gaze directly. “You’re worried about me. But here’s the thing…you don’t have to do that. I’m the one who looks out for you, remember?”
Once again, she frowned at you. “Why, just because you’re older?”
You gave her a teasing smile.
“Well, yeah.” Still, you grasped both of her arms, now crossed in front of her chest. “Lou, haven’t I always taken care of you?”
“Okay, yeah,” she said. “But who takes care of you? Who makes sure you’re all right?”
You gave her a patient, if knowing look.
She grimaced. “Oh, don’t you say it.”
“Honestly, Lou. He does take care of me…he makes me feel safe.” You bit your lip, and your eyes began to well up with the sting of tears, emotion rising in your throat. “I’ve never had that. Ever.”
Your sister released a heavy sigh. “I know.”
“Then can you actually try to get to know him? Please?” You rubbed her arms, pleading with your eyes. You wanted your family to like your boyfriend, but it was so much more than that. You didn’t want to have separate worlds. Everyone in this house was part of your family, and that now included Ben.
The longer she looked into your imploring eyes, Louisa’s grimace lightened, just a touch. “I’ll think about it.”
You smiled then, warmly as you hugged your sister. You then kissed her on the cheek, leaving the bright red imprint of your lipstick.
When you went back into the kitchen, your better mood was ruined pretty quickly by watching your aunt run your mother around the kitchen with demands and instructions. You decided to jump into the fray, taking a large serving bowl out of Marie’s hands before it tipped over.
“How’s the ham doing?” you asked.
“About half an hour or so, I think,” Trina said. “Maybe forty-five.”
“Okay, and what’s left?”
“Let’s get the desserts ready.”
While your help sorely relieved your mother, it was actually a terrible idea for your mental health. When you could take no more of Trina’s irritating, commanding voice in your ear, you had to take a breath (as well as down a full glass of wine).
You wordlessly asked Louisa to tag in for you before you traveled into the living room.
There you found Ben immersed in a baseball game with Grandpa George. Both men only looked up at you when you stood near the couch with crossed arms. Your nerves were on edge, your blood still just short of boiling, but you took pains to look pleasant.
“Who’s winning?” you asked.
Ben quirked a smile at the sight of you, while George gave his more freely.
“5 to 3. It’s close on the Mets,” he said. You realized then that you hadn’t even hugged your grandfather yet.
“Oh my God, Grandpa! I’m so sorry,” you said with a frown. You went over to hug him. “Trina has me all out of whack.”
George chuckled and patted you warmly on the back. “Why do you think I’m out here?”
You sighed with a wry smile. You then turned to Great Aunt Sylvia, who was still passed out in the recliner.
“Aunt Sylvia?” you tried. You went over to her and touched her arm.
“Leave her be, hun,” George told you. “Only the smell of food’ll rouse that woman.”
Your smile deepened. Then you turned to Ben, who’d been watching you with reserved interest. He’d never seen you with the rest of your family before.
You went to him on his side of the couch and asked, in a tone deceptively light, “How about a tour of the house? You haven’t even seen it all.”
He could admit, it was a fairly big house for just your mother, but he was more interested in the game.
“I’m watching this,” he said, gesturing at the screen. However, when he saw the tight press of your lips, he knew something wasn’t right with you. You were trying to tell him something with your eyes, he just didn’t know what.
You leaned down, subtly grabbing his thigh.
“I need you,” you whispered in his ear. “Now.”
The tone of your voice set his blood alight with new interest.
Ben’s resulting smirk was subtle, but edged.
“A tour it is.”
AN: Just when you thought you'd seen the last of my BMD cliffhangers. 😏
How'd you like Ben's introduction to his girlfriend's family? I also sincerely hope you don't have an "Aunt Trina" in your life. 🙄
Next Time:
He grabbed your arms and meant to kiss you, but you stopped him with your fingers against his lips.
“Two rules: this lipstick doesn’t come off. And no. Ripping. The dress.”
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☕️ margot verger? And also any of the other main women
Margot:
I liked her, I love Katharine Isabelle and I feel like she fit the vibe of the show. I was disappointed that she wasn't a butch lesbian like in the book - I know Fuller's reasoning was wanting to avoid the transphobic tropes in the book, but like, he could've done that while keeping her butch lol, I feel like his actual reasoning is that he just likes these hyperstyled feminine characters lbr.
Was not a fan of the had to fuck Will to get pregnant to get medically abused storyline either, it's the biggest dsappointment of season 2. I wasn't as upset about it as some people, but yk, it wasn't great fam.
Overall though I think she's a fun character, love her blase attitude towards Hannibal, love when she finally kills Mason, love that she hooks up with the former het love interest lmao, I find her solidly enjoyable.
Alana:
I think she's interesting, though she was stifled in her love interest role in the first two seasons. I like that in season 1+2 her biggest flaw was woobifying Will lmao and basically not treating him as someone with agency, I like that she's self aware about her tendency to fall for dudes in distress but still ends up hooking up with Hannibal after he nearly gets murdered lmao. I like her perturbed outside pov on Hannigram. Loooove that she ends up married to a woman. Love her development in season 3 in general, don't think it needed to be justified by ~bone marrow in her blood~ but w/e I've whined about that before lol. Oh and I love that she's basically Hannibal's nemesis now, and specifically started working at the BSHCI to guard him herself, it's fucked up and interesting.
Abigail:
I'm pretty meh on her honestly, she's fine but she's not that interesting to me, I'm not really into the murder family thing, and she's most interesting as a plot device to bring hannigram together and tear them apart as far as I'm concerned.
Bedelia:
Adore her lmao. I love that she's constantly a little contemptuous of Hannibal yet fascinated by him, was so pleasantly surprised at how she turned out to be manipulating Hannibal in Italy when, after the first episode of s3, I was fully expecting her to just be a damsel. Bedelia getting high and lying to Jack and Will was one of the best scenes of the show. Loooove her ridiculous over the top dialogue. Love her crushing the bird speech (the bird is Hannibal). Love her shift from Will's ally in season 2 to also contemptuous of him. I think the fact that so many people assumed Bedelia cut off her own leg in the post credits finale scene is hilarious and unfortunate and shows that a lot of people completely misunderstand her.
But tbf the show actively obfuscates everything so yk.
Freddie:
Fave. Looooove her. Hope she makes millions off her murder husbands book, she deserves to live a long and happy life. Love how Hannibal kept calling her rude and she slipped neatly by him anyway. Love how she's kind of Will's nemesis lol, in a much pettier, funnier way than Alana is Hannibal's.
Molly:
She's fine. She's a good down to earth element that the show was crying for lol. Loved her final girl style escape from Dolarhyde. Love that she just knows Hannibal sent him after her like the bitchy ex he is. Love that she peaced the fuck out.
Bev:
Fine, also down to earth which was great, the 2nd half of season 2 was sorely lacking in the vibe she provided. Her death was a little eyeroll worthy, which was unfortunate, she deserved to go out in a more badass way imo.
Bella:
Quite like her, love Hannibal's respect for her (the fact that he even flipped a coin says volumes tbh,though I also think Hannibal would've responded that way to most people, it's still a great scene), love that she slapped him, think she was kind of shitty to Jack in not telling him about the cancer for so long lol but I also get it and empathize with that choice, think she was incredibly shitty to try to kill herself in front of Hannibal but in like, an interesting way lol (even though it was probably just plot convenience writing-wise). Love Gina Torres in general.
Have I forgotten anyone important? Hope not.
Thanks for the ask!
send me a ☕️ and a topic and i’ll talk about how i feel about it
#text post#marley on hannibal#also yk i have been absolutely shit about adding this recently but please lmk your thoughts too if you want!#this is always the case when i answer an ask and i need to remember to say it more often#so if anyone else who's sent an ask sees this it applies to you too
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I was the anon who sent you the trans Raphael headcanons ask on your other blog, do you have any more? With some trans Maia thrown in too🥺 like Magnus being the best trans dad to his son and the love of his sons life and being supportive and loving. Raphael kissing Maia on the forehead and telling her how beautiful she is, you know? Cute shit like that
yes!!! hello!!! i hope you know i love you and you're my favorite person in the world!! thank you so much for this ask!
okay so i’ll begin with the specifics... magnus is absolutely THE trans dad to both of them. not only with practical stuff like offering to help them with glamours, magical transitioning, stuff like that, but just... being so supportive and understanding. he’s always there, and he has so many stories to share, so many people he’s met who had happy lives. he was there for stonewall, he’s met Marsha P. Johnson and Sylvia Rivera, and it’s just so heartwarming for the both of them to talk to him about that, you know? that feeling of not being alone in history, of knowing that there are and were other people like you, that you’ve always existed.... it’s just great
also in maia’s case since she also lives a partially mundane life he just solves all her documentation problems like deadname? gone forever. no registers. you’re welcome. the first time maia sees her document with her name she almost cries and she throws herself in magnus’ arms and magnus is so touched and moved and shocked you know? like the gratitude and the affection and she’s just thanking him and he’s so moved and raphael just watches with a little smile in his face because he knows that magnus is moved by the display, even if he won’t say it. and maybe he tells magnus that later? like, “your kindness means more to others than you imagine,” and of course magnus isn’t important just because he’s kind but he’s used to not being recognized for his services (ahem especially by CERTAIN people) and it’s nice to see that being appreciated, you know?
plus, maia makes it a point to pay him and magnus is all like “i couldn’t possibly take payment for something like that. it’s the least you deserve” so instead maia teaches him her secret sangria recipe. magnus is super pleased but he also jokes that now he has one less excuse for inviting them over. and raphael goes, super seriously, “you never need an excuse” and magnus just melts
raphael kissing her forehead! yes! tbh i think they both love forehead kisses (as well as hand kisses and shoulder kisses) and sometimes when she’s feeling dysphoric or upset for any reason she likes just... lying down on raphael’s chest and letting him pet her hair and kiss her forehead and tell her that it’s alright, bella, te quiero
and YES he just makes it a point to talk about how beautiful she is constantly and kiss down her whole body (not sexually of course, just sweetly?) and she giggles and it’s fun :’) sometimes things get to her, especially after jordan’s constant transphobic/racist rethoric, and it’s nice that raphael always makes it a point to tell her she’s beautiful and amazing and he loves her. and he always does it in such a matter of fact way, but also intense, you know? he has her close and he says shit like “you’re the most beautiful woman i’ve ever met” and she melts
as for general headcanons!
maia figured out she was trans relatively early in life, and it’s the reason she always knew she’d have to run away from her parents’ house. she was basically only planning until she had enough to be able to survive without them. but also, jordan and wanting to be able to “be with her already” rushed her out of home when she was finishing high school
raphael and maia are absolutely willing to throw down for each other if someone’s transphobic and that’s that on that. someone being transphobic to raphael? fine, he can handle his own, he’ll end them with his words and do it with a pleasant smile. someone being transphobic to maia? they’ll be met with the usual cutting sarcasm until they back down. but if the other catches you doing that? you’ll be thrown against the wall and threatened/punched in the face so fast you won’t even know what the fuck happened
a lot of baby trans downworlders start coming to them! they’re already an iconic couple for many reasons, what with being a werewolf/vampire couple, a black/latino couple (we need more black/latino couples okay! desperately! and black/native and native/latino too! i want more poc solidarity and romance!), and an iconique trans couple. people just feel comfortable going to them because they’ve brought so much change and are so accepting you know?
it still surprises raphael, even after years on end, that so many people come to him for help with that. he never thought that he would be seen as the kind of person people can go to, and yet here he is. after being told for most of his life that he was cold/unfeeling/threatening/weird... it’s nice to be valued like that, to be seen as someone who can be soft and provide comfort and love, too
same goes for maia, who’s also used to be seen as agressive/violent for just defending herself and her people, and just generally reduced to being a “threat”. it’s nice to know that many, many people see her as someone they can look up to, and who they feel safe it
that is not to say obviously that they just love doing emotional labor for other people but like... having other trans downworlders, especially trans downworlders of color, come to them, feels nice. especially people who are trying to figure themselves out and approach them with so much hope and admiration in their eyes you know? the way they always come with a “sorry to bother, but..” ready in their lips and look at them like they are heroes... it’s really something
taki’s slowly becomes a place for trans downworlders to hang out, especially those who don’t enjoy clubs and stuff like pandemonium (which is totally a queer club as well bite me. including for mundanes. with taki’s that’s trickier of course since they have like, blood on their menu lmao but a few trans minors have hung out there and it was cool) for whatever reason. it’s just a cool queer-inclusive space for people who want to hang out, you know? and they love that
the first time maia saw raphael lose his cool was when a shadowhunter made a gross comment about how it’s lucky he didn’t want sex, so she wouldn’t have to deal with that. he almost tore their throat off
raphael just.... loves maia’s shoulders. she was a little self conscious of them, she always made a point to have them covered, but raphael just loves peppering kisses on her shoulders and making her chuckle
magnus gives maia a bunch of fashion tips similar to the ones he gave raphael, just how to better protect herself and figure out how people are reading her gender and stuff like that, you know?
they do the thing where they show each other pre-transition pics (once they’re comfortable with that of course) just to hear each other be like “*outraged gasp* i don’t recognize you at all” and “oh, look how much happier you are now”, and my personal favorite, “i can’t see a boy/girl in there, i just can’t” (like personally whenever i see pictures of my partners/friends pre-transition i’m just like... i realize this is pre-transition and that you’ve changed a lot but also i’m unable to see an [assigned gender] in this photo). it’s all like “how did people not notice you were a girl? unbelievable” you know. just that sweet sweet trans couple validation ritual
together they have like. all the insufferable pun-happy sexualities (bi[romantic], pan, ace, trans) and you will be hit with those constantly in conversation if you’re a friend of them. raphael in particular greatly enjoys making those puns with the most blase, straight face as he looks straight into your eyes and watches as your soul slowly leaves your body. magnus is so proud and also afraid he created a monster
raphael is that bitch who’s like. “i heard that broccoli has a substance that’s similar to testosterone so i’m now eating 5 bowls of it” and maia wants to tear her hair out because it doesn’t work like that and he’s like “can’t hurt to try. also i’m finally able to eat let me have this”
maia never got to like... celebrate those small transition moments because she was all alone and felt like she was transitioning in such a rush, you know? and raphael makes it a point to point out the small changes that are still going on with her body, to take her shopping and encourage her to be as giddy about it as she wants to, you know? and it’s nice and fun and he also gets to relive those small gender reaffirming moments and it’s really nice
maia is a huge against me fan!!! like not to project but it’s just... their songs are so great and relatable even when they’re not about being trans at all and laura jane grace’s voice is so beautiful and maia for sure absolutely loves punk, so like. it’s one of her fave bands for sure
she liked them since before laura came out and when she did it was like. oh. oh. so that’s why i always related so hard to her songs. it just... makes sense
while punk is not as much raphael’s style he likes true trans rebel, especially the acoustic version, where her voice just sounds mwaaahhh imo and he can listen to the recording for hours because her voice in there is just... sensorial heaven and maia feels all giddy that raphael genuinely loves a trans woman’s voice so much
raphael always makes a point to say that he loves her voice just as much, too :)
they are just very trans and really love each other the end
#ask#anonymous#sorry this took relatively long to answer daidhaidha it's my first week of classes and i'm a little tired#as always i really loved this ask and just thank you so much for asking#sh#shadowhunters#maia roberts#raphael santiago#magnus bane#trans maia roberts#trans raphael santiago#trans magnus bane#maiaphael#maphael#magnus & maia brotp#magnus & raphael brotp#headcanon#text
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why did bella kill charlie of all people in there were none? he sure as hell didn't kill jacob, being an old human man and best friend of his father
And Then There Were None by me and @therealvinelle
I don't know what I love about this the most, but I think it's that you think Bella's a rational actor reasonably able to conclude who did and did not kill Jacob Black.
"It was totally reasonable of her to kill her entire family, but this is a step too far!"
The story goes like this, Bella meets with her father who... wonders where everyone is including her daughter (who Bella has ultimately decided to condemn in her blase reaction to Jacob's death/because Bella believes living without her imprint has destroyed Renesmee). Bella is distraught about this because Charlie should be caring about her and not that family of awful people who made her kill her husband and would have killed Jacob if they had the chance and certainly let him die and drove him to death. Worse, Bella realizes that her father is uncomfortable with her, clearly doesn't trust her. Bella has yet another psychotic break where she justifies to herself killing her father.
#twilight#twilight renaissance#and then there were none#bella swan#anti bella swan#charlie swan#meta#vinelle#therealvinelle
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Breakfast at Graham's || Marley, Graham & Frankie
Timing: Sometime last week. Parties: @detectivedreameater, @grahamstoker & @offrankies Summary: Meeting your roommate’s fuck buddy is an awkward experience. Especially when there’s screaming cicadas all over the apartment.
It was days like these when Frankie thanked God hadn’t given her supernatural senses, especially enhanced hearing, as Graham seemed to get more action than she had expected when she had first moved in. Like, fine, despite playing for the other team, Frankie could admit that the guy was handsome, but she had assumed that vampires couldn’t get laid for… their lack of blood and what it biologically implied. Maybe Edward getting Bella pregnant wasn’t too insane, after all. Still, nothing had prepared her to be sitting in the kitchen, cereal and milk on the bowl in front of her as she scrolled through instagram, when the faint but constant bug screams she had heard all night suddenly became louder when Graham’s door opened, a muffled groan leaving her lips. She wasn’t going to start to judge her roommate’s kinks and what did it for him (or his partner, for that matter) to get off, or maybe she would in a very silent way with lots of stares; but he could do whatever he wanted in his room, away from the common areas. “Why am I getting punished like this.” She mumbled to herself before a woman appeared on her line of sight, Frankie’s eyes immediately squinting at the bright colors around here. It took her a moment to decipher them: a soft purple that swirled together with blue, tinges of black and red dancing around her, fast jerks pulling it as if something was trying to break loose from it, and her eyes widened in slight panic. She’d never seen an aura move that way. Quickly, she looked down to her bowl, pretending to be very, very interested in the Choco Puffs swimming in there, trying her hardest to ignore the damn bugs and the colors that were visible from the corner of her eye.
Marley had been hitting up Graham more and more lately, and though she didn’t mind, she also didn’t want to stop and think about why. Staying the night usually wasn’t her style, but he was a vampire, and his endurance definitely outlast hers. So here she was, waking up in a foreign bed, in a foreign house, next to a cold body. Anita was always cold, too, but Marley remembered how soft and warm she’d been when they’d woken up in her room together. Forcing the thought from her mind, Marley sat up and grabbed her shirt and a pair of random shorts, throwing them on before heading out into the living room for coffee. At least she could grab a cup here before heading home to change for work. But when she got into the kitchen, there was a girl sitting at the table. Blase as ever, Marley moved past her quickly and over to the coffee maker. “You’re uh-- the roommate, right?” she asked, pulling the mug out and filling it with water. Aside from pushing numbers on a microwave, making coffee was the only thing Marley knew how to do in a kitchen.
Frankie was stuffing her mouth with cereal in her lame attempt to ignore the woman that looked like she was wearing Graham’s clothes. Don’t judge them, she kept repeating in her mind, but the bugs screaming kept making her eyes move from the bowl to the hallway, and then back to the bowl, and then back to the hallway. To say she choked on the cereal when the other walked past her, the bugs suddenly screaming on her brain, was an understatement. Milk ran down her chin and she started coughing. It was moments like this when she wondered why God had punished and not made her a normal person with no anxiety and definitely with no abilities to read auras. “Uh-- Roommate, yeah, I am.” Are you the girlfriend? She wanted to ask, considering how often Graham had tried to kick her out because she was coming over. Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she tried to continue eating, trying her hardest to ignore the weird ass sound. “I’m, uh, Frankie.”
The girl was...weird, to say the least. Choking on her cereal, averting her eyes-- it was clear she had some form of major anxiety, but that wasn’t Marley’s problem. She had no shame in her sex life, and she certainly didn’t believe in the fabled “walk of shame”. Sticking the pot back into the maker, she poured the grounds in and pushed the on button. “Well, nice to meet you, then, Roommate Frankie,” she said, leaning back against the counter. The girl was staring at her with wide eyes, even as she tried to finish her cereal and pretend she wasn’t staring. But Marley was an expert on human behavior, and she noticed everything. “You can call me Marley,” she finally said, tilting her head as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t worry, once my coffee is done, I’ll let you eat your cereal in peace.”
The kitchen floor was definitely not swallowing Frankie fast enough. Her cheeks quickly heated and turned a bright red, her whole body radiating embarrassment. “Just, uhm, just Frankie.” She had to admit how badass the other woman looked though, moving through the kitchen like she was the actual person living there and not herself; and in other circumstances, specifically in one that didn’t involve kinky bugs, Frankie would’ve found herself showing more interest in her. Her head nodded slightly, leaving her spoon fall on the empty bowl. “Nice to, uh, meet you.” Marley was awfully confident, and she wondered if she hadn’t realized how loud the sounds were, and that she could still hear them. Her eyes opened even wider if that was possible, and she shook both her hands in front of her. “Oh, no no no no, please, take your, uh, time. Rushed breakfasts suck.”
Marley idled for a moment. While she hardly had shame or guilt, she didn’t exactly interact with people-- or roommates of her fuck buddies-- all that often. Ff ever. Anita lived alone and Jane was, well...Jane. Pausing, she shrugged. “I don’t really eat breakfast,” she said, shuffling around. Whoever this Frankie was, Marley wasn’t sure she liked the way her eyes kept widening when she looked at her. But, Marley could remember being 18 and on her own, struggling in a world that wanted to beat her down and silence her. Everything was always loud and new and scary, even when you could turn invisible. And she doubted Frankie could turn invisible. “Graham is good to you, right?” she asked. “Cause I told him I’d kick his ass if he wasn’t.”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” A mechanical response, though Frankie didn’t really mean it and understood that the most important meal wasn’t for everyone. Her grandmother usually skipped breakfast too despite her best efforts to bring her trays with bacon and eggs, and her loyal cup of tea. The question about Graham made her mouth form a perfect ‘o’, before she erupted in laughter. Her mind wrapped around all the text messages he sent her telling her to take care, to get home at a decent hour, and to not be a dumbass online. Though she sincerely doubted a normal person could take down a vampire, her words still warmed her up. “Oh, no, he’s great. I actually think he, uh, cares more than my actual dad. Thanks for the backup though.” Bugs or not, this Marley person seemed nice. She guessed you can’t judge a person by their kinks. “If he’s nasty to you I can help you kick his ass.”
“Eh, sounds fake to me,” Marley said in a blasé tone, shrugging. Then again, she didn’t 100% understand human diets, and she didn’t need to. It was their behavior she was concerned with, not their diets. Marley only needed to feed once or twice a week, it must’ve sucked to have to eat multiple times a day every day. Who had time for that? “Well, good,” she said, turning back towards the cabinets to rifle around for a mug. Didn’t quite know how to approach the dad comment, but it wasn’t her business, and she wasn’t going to pry. Mostly because she just didn’t care. “Oh, don’t worry about me, kiddo,” she said, finally finding the cabinet with the mugs in it and pulling one out. “I can handle shitty men. Though, for the record, Graham is on the less shitty end of shitty men,” she said in what she hoped was a teasing tone. Sometimes her voice made it sound serious. “I’m kidding, of course. He’s a good guy.” When he wasn’t accidentally biting you, she thought with a grin.
Both her elbows were resting on the table now, Frankie’s hands cupping her own face as she took a nice look at the woman’s aura when she wasn’t looking. It had been easy to grow accustomed to it; not thanks to the weird jumps that made her stiffen or shift on her seat in surprise, but because the colors weren’t nearly as bright as those of a normal person. The blue being the cause, definitely. Someone who keep things to themselves. Like the fact that she likes the sound of bugs to get off in bed. Her lips pressed together as she held in another laugh, though she wasn’t sure if it was because of her thought or what Marley had said, and looked away the second the other turned, her mind elsewhere, thinking about the screaming critters again. “Yeah he’s just has weird as fuck kin----- kicks.” Fuck. “H-His shoes are so weird, r-right??” Oh God. So much for not being judgemental.
Oddly, one of Marley’s biggest pet peeves had always been people who avoided eye contact. Now, of course, there was leeway for certain people, but when Marley looked back and Frankie quickly averted her eyes, Marley couldn’t help but feel a prick of annoyance. What was it about her that made her so jumpy? There was no way it she knew what she was or what she was capable of, just by catching her glance, unless Frankie could read minds. Maybe it was just because of the awkward implication this presented. Anyone who had a brain would know that the strange woman in your kitchen with your roommate’s pants on had probably fucked them last night. Marley was sure she’d feel awkward about that, too. And so, she decided to cut the poor girl some slack. “Weird shoes?” raised a brow. “Can’t say I’ve noticed that. He’s not usually wearing anyth-- shoes-- any shoes when I’m around. Cause, you know,” she shrugged, “we’re inside.”
If she had any cereal left, she would be choking on it for the second time in ten minutes. Once more, Frankie was wishing for the floor to swallow her whole. Or better yet, the ceiling suddenly crumbling and burying her forever. Her cheeks were red in embarrassment, and she sank on the chair, suddenly very interested in the pattern on the kitchen walls, the bugs continuing screaming almost as if they were mocking her in this whole scenario. “Right. No shoes. Cause uh, shoes are weird. Shoes are overrated anyways” It was then that the teen decided she would spend the night somewhere else every time Graham brought people over, definitely not ready to deal with random people, less alone do small talk with them. Grabbing the empty bowl, she awkwardly made her way to the kitchen sink to clean after herself, but as she got closer the screaming got as loud as when Marley had entered the room, and one eye twitching as she tried to ignore it. Except, she couldn’t anymore. “Hey so uhh can I ask you something?” She leaned against the sink, trying to keep a straight face but it was obvious how much she was struggling. “Do you, uhhh, like bugs?”
“Sup, ladies?” Graham’s voice arrived before he did and shortly after, the man casually strolled down the hall and into the living room, pausing on the other side of the island that separated the two rooms. He had the decency to put on his favorite pair of sleep pants but those were the only article of clothes that hung off his built frame. He was carrying three empty bottles that he set on the counter and glanced between the two of them, immediately picking up on the awkwardness in the room and he raised his eyebrows with entertainment. He hadn’t anticipated Marley being such a consistent partner in bed but he figured he was allowed to have his fun too. He didn’t… THINK they were that loud all the time. He had been really good about not biting too so he earned a nice night with someone who didn’t mind. “Talkin’ about me?” He asked mildly as he tried his damndest not to overhear their conversation as he lay on his back in his room previously.
“Sure, kid, what’s up?” Marley asked, grateful her coffee was finally done and that meant she could drink it fast and then get out of here. All this “stay the morning after” was beginning to make her itch. “Do I like--” she paused, raising a brow, but didn’t get to finish, as Graham’s voice chimed through the hallway and she was suddenly reminded about how vampire’s had super hearing. Frowning, she poured her cup and headed out of the kitchen. “Talk about you? Why would we? There’s so many more interesting things to talk about,” she said in a flat tone, but it was a tease, and the slight curve of her lips gave that away. “Like cereal. Right?”
Frankie’s head snapped when she heard Graham’s voice, and gave him a dead glare, eyes squinting and lips pressed together in a way that could only be understood as I’m gonna kill you. Why could she still hear the bugs if they were both in there? Were they in kahoots just to bother her? Marley had looked nice, but she could totally see the vampire convincing her to play a prank on her. “Big ego much?” Eyes moved to the woman as she left the kitchen, her features softening with her words. “Yeah- right. Cereal is way more interesting than you.” And your dumbass kinks. Which led her to... “Okay- I had it. Stop that.” Still leaning against the sink, she crossed her arms. “Marley you’re badass. Graham, you suck. Can you stop the bugs now? I don’t- I really don’t care and I wish I didn’t know what you guys…” Her hand made a vague gesture, her cheeks bright red in embarrassment. “Do in bed and shit but-- Keep it in the room? Please?” “It IS in the room!” Graham exclaimed with an emphatic shrug before anything else had time to mull around in his mind. “It’s always been in the room!” He looked between the two women again, wondering what had happened that turned him into the bad guy. He wasn't mad, mind, but kind of confused and a little hurt. “And yes, I DO suck, you know that.” He made a joke at his own expense, knowing full well both of them would understand. “But I’ve never had sex in this apartment anywhere but in my room-- at least with Marley.” He added hastily. “I don’t know what bugs you’re talking about but that ain’t me, sister.” He went around them to the fridge and opened it roughly, rattling the glass bottles in the door before realising he didn’t want anything dead. If anything, it was more to give him something to do. “I have no idea what you guys were talking about, I have no idea why I’m being put on blast and I have no idea how to fix it but y’all trippin’ if you think getting all mad at me is gonna fix whatever’s happening.”
“Woah,” Marley said, sipping her coffee evenly with an unchanging expression, “someone’s spicy in the morning.” This was exactly why she never did stay. Plus, things had gone pretty sour last time she’d stayed the morning with someone, despite the immediate events being nice. It just proved more to Marley why her old method was tried and true. She leaned up against the counter, raising a brow. “Hey, look-- I’m into some admittedly kinky shit, but bugs aren’t it. So whatever you heard, or are hearing, isn’t us, kiddo,” she said, giving a shrug before picking up her mug and taking another hearty sip. As much as she wanted to leave, she was curious, now to see where this conversation would end up. And to see if Graham really was mad about a little light teasing in the morning. Men could be so sensitive sometimes. It was hard reading Graham’s sudden outburst -not that she wasn’t used to them, especially since Layla had crashed with them-, considering Frankie was used to know exactly (or, well, almost) what people’s intentions were just by glancing their auras; and though normally she appreciated the vampire lacking one, it was situations like these that made her infuriated. Pointing an inquisitive finger at him, she pressed her lips together as if she was about to let hell loose on him, but Marley’s words made her stop and look at her. Aura same as before, not even the slightest change of color (and, sadly, it kept moving like it wanted to eat her or something), and it made Frankie wince and drop her hand. “Then why the hell do I hear cicadas screaming specifically every time you’re over?!” Eyes back on Graham, she squinted for a few seconds, before letting out a sigh. “FINE. Whatever. Let’s pretend the teen doesn’t hear the kinky ass bugs.”
"Bruuuuh," Graham closed the fridge with a lot more care. "I'm not doing a bit here. I have NO idea what you're talking about." His tone was mild, indicating that he also wasn't lying. "I don't hear bugs, I don't hear cicadas, I just hear a teenage girl getting all heated at two consenting adults for having-- a great time in his bedroom," The flare of emotion from earlier was gone; he was now speaking evenly. "Maybe it has to do with your, uh, synesthesia," That's what he had to call it around other people - it seemed close enough to how he perceived aura reading. "Maybe knowing that we're having sex sends your brain messages that psychosomatically associate the activity with sounds of cicadas," He explained, leaning against the counter casually as he absently chewed on the inside of his cheek. "In any case, don't be mad; just talk to me instead of assuming I'm fucking around with you," He chuckled. "If it's a problem then let's see how we can fix it or… At least mitigate it. Because I like having her over so that's not an option every time." It was Graham's turn to give Marley a look accompanied with a wink, almost as if to say 'sorry about my weird teenage roommate'.
“Relax, kiddo, no one’s accusing you of anything, but I’m kinda with him on this one,” Marley pointed out, still leaning against the counter with her coffee. “It was good,” she corrected, “it was a good time.” Great was perhaps pushing it a little. Not that it wasn’t, but she couldn’t just outright admit that. Great was, well-- someone she didn’t want to think about yet. “Synesthesia? Really?” she raised a brow, wondering if that was their code for “supernatural”. It made sense. Graham was a vampire, after all. A strange one, at that. Only made sense it’d be easier for him to live with another supernatural roommate. Normal humans were probably too tempting. “So what is it, really?” she asked, pushing away from the counter finally and stopping just shy of Frankie. “I’ve never heard of anyone that can hear things from people. See and feel, but not hear.”
Another groan left Frankie as she buried her face on her hands, before slowly dragging her down her face. Sure, she had gotten herself into that conversation, but that didn’t mean she wanted to know more about their sex life than she already knew. Graham’s words made her stop her dramatic outburst, though - if she could potentially hear buzzing from Regan for some reason, could Marley be the source of another sound? It… made sense, in a very insane way. Despite the colors being radically different, they both shared the fact that their auras had weird and scary movements she’d never heard before. “Oh shit.” She whispered, her full attention to Marley, ignoring the fact that Graham had practically outed her. Carefully and almost painfully slowly, she started moving towards the woman. “I, uh, I don’t know, I’ve never heard stuff before? Don’t move--” And why bugs on top of everything? Crap. He had, in a way, been right. The closer she got to her, the louder the screaming got to the point Frankie had to stop and take a few steps back from her to stop the feeling of bugs chewing on her brain, an uncomfortable and confused look on her face. “Uhh- okay-- So not- Not kinky sex bugs--” She turned to Graham looking like she was about to throw up. “Ithinkheraurasoundslikebugs?” “...Well, at east they aren’t kinky sex bugs,” Graham replied mildly, all things considered. “That’s kind of a problem, though... Why d’you think she sounds like bugs?” He asked more in general as though it were a prompt for a class to ponder. He looked over at Marley again; she didn’t seem like she gave off a bug vibe to him but then again, he hallucinated when he drank her blood-- Ooooh could he turn that into a cocktail? THAT’D be fun. Sorry, distracted, back to the topic at hand. “Let’s see… how could we solve this non-kinky bug conundrum,” He hummed, feeling his brow furrow slightly as he legitimately thought about it.”Oh! Have you tried headphones?” He asked.
“Wait, hold on, back up,” Marley said, shaking her head and setting her coffee down, watching as Frankie turned a steady eye on her. Focusing as if she were waiting for something to happen. Marley raised a brow, glancing between the two. “Did she say aura?” She looked back at Frankie, who looked as if she were either about to faint or scream, then over to Graham. “Is she an aura reader?” Because that, well-- that might be a problem. Marley didn’t need some extrasensory teenager knowing that she was a killer. Not that she knew entirely how aura reading worked, but she’d been warned before that aura readers could see into a person’s soul, that they could know if you’d taken a life willingly. And boy had Marley done that. “Headphones, really? That’s your suggestion? Wait-- do you hear auras?”
“No!...?” Could she? No, if Frankie could hear auras her grandma would’ve told her. Unless she couldn’t? No, it was ridiculous, auras could be seen, not heard. But then again Regan… Shaking her head, the human moved her hands in front of her as if cutting the air; a “enough is enough” gesture before pointed at Graham with both her indexes. “Not cool outing me like that.” And then, she turned towards Marley and did the same. “Yes, and your aura is scary as heck and I’m so sorry you sound like bugs for some reason cause you’re super cool.” Now where was her backpack when she needed to run. Never mind her bright pink clothing - she could deal with the embarrassment of running town in her pajamas better than.. whatever was happening in the room. “I don’t think headphones will work so just--” She jerked the front door open. “-- Just tell me next time you come so I can yeet.” And without waiting for a reply, she walked out and almost closed the door, but she opened it slightly, screamed “nice to meet you Marley”, and ran down the stairs before Graham could drag her back inside.
Before the vampire knew what had happened, the teenager said her piece then zipped out the door without even bothering to close the thing behind her. Graham’s blue-eyed gaze followed her, then looked sideways to Marley, giving a small half-shrug. “Sorry ‘bout that,” He half-heartedly apologized, sounding more like he accidentally bought the wrong type of chips. “She’s, uh… a little manic sometimes.” He explained, rubbing the back of his neck. “For the record, I said synesthesia; she was the one that said ‘aura reading’.” He made sure to clarify. “She sure is sweet, though; we get along well because apparently vampires don’t have auras.” He added, going over to the fridge again and pulling out a bottle of water. “I, uh… get it if that kind of ruined the mood so I’ll do whatever you wanna do,” He said, taking a large swig of the bottle and looking to Marley for a lead.
Before Marley had much of a chance to say anything back, the young girl was bolting from the room, either out of embarrassment or anxiety. Your aura is scary as heck. For some reason, that statement ruffled her. Of course it was, it only made sense. Everything about Marley was scary. She was a monster, after all. But she didn’t like the idea that her aura was so transparent about it. About her. That someone could look at her and know and decide she was a monster without even understanding. She picked up her coffee and finished it off before glancing over at Graham. “She’s a teenager,” she replied evenly, “let her be manic sometimes. Life’s rough in this world as a teenager.” She looked down at the empty coffee cup, then to the open door, then to Graham. “You know,” she shrugged, coming over to him in the kitchen. Pretended to look at a watch that wasn’t on her wrist, “I think you’ll find my mood rather hard to ruin. I’ve got time for a quickie before work.” It was a good distraction, after all.
#p: graham#p: marley#breakfast at graham's#❪ ⋅ ⋆ —— ❛ para ❜ ❫#wickedswriting#// these three are gonna kill me one day
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[Video] The Flaming Lips trotzen Corona weiterhin mit Plastikblasen
The Flaming Lips beweisen erneut, wie Konzerte auch in Corona-Zeiten und ganz automatisch mit Sicherheitsabstand stattfinden können, indem sie sich selber und das komplette Publikum in große Plastikblasen stecken. Das neue Video zu ihrem Song “Assassins of Youth” wurde während eines Auftritts in Oklahoma City aufgenommen und zeigt ein seit langem nicht mehr für möglich gehaltenes Bild: Stagediving! Die Band um Wayne Coyne hat mit ihrem großen Plastikblasen bereits eine Art viralen Hit gelandet und weltweit für Aufsehen gesorgt. Dabei springt Wayne Coyne schon seit Jahren in so einer Blase in das Publikum – dass die Crowd sich auch in Bubbles aufhält, ist aber neu und wurde zuerst im Juni während eines Auftrittes bei Stephen Colbert ausprobiert.
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Über das neue Video sagt Sänger Wayne Coyne: “Of course, our MAIN priority (when doing the performance for the music video) was making sure everyone was safe and all the health cautions were being enforced,” und ergänzt: “I forgot about how exciting and fun and ridiculous it is to do a Flaming Lips show!!! I think the video shows it!!!”
“Assassins of Youth” ist auf dem aktuellen Album “American Head” erschienen, welches am 11.09. über Bella Union veröffentlicht wurde.
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If Bella were going to comment, she would say they were lovely teeth, even though she wasn't really an expert on the matter. Mostly she thought they were lovely because they were his, though teeth was an odd thing to be sentimental about.
She lets him adjust her, her hands smoothing over his chest as he straightens - smiling into the little kiss she's been gifted.
"It is a good offer. And no, I've never been offered teeth before, so you'd be the one and only." Because, of course, if he didn't want to be part of a list then she'd never offer it to anyone else. But of all the men she's had in her life, he's been the only one as pragmatic about death as she is.
Certainly, Isaac would not be as blase about her keeping his teeth as mementos.
"Usually I'm gifted pictures or letters or things like that." Things that might be considered traditionally romantic, given her disposition or the time periods she's lived through. "Which isn't to say I don't appreciate them. But there's something to be said for uniqueness, you know."
If they were so openly talking about harvesting body parts, maybe next on the agenda could be a fun, roadkill themed date night -- if anything that would be less strange. Sure, there would need to be some mention on the crew application of only taking night jobs, but if that wasn't a problem to those in charge? Honestly, it felt like something right up their alley. Though discussions of that would have to wait
Right on cue the offered up teeth were put on display, a few chomps into thin air as if to show their durability. They had a few miles on them, sure, but at the end of the day it would be Bella getting the better end of the deal. They were, after all, the teeth of a minor celebrity.
“ It feels like a good offer, ” He would say, pulling away from Bella in order to straighten both of their postures for the sole purpose of wanting to be properly face to face for such an important appraisal. There was just enough time, however, for a chaste ( borderline grateful ) kiss before it was back to business.
“ Is that something you've done before? If it is we need to think of something else, because I don't want to be part of a list. ” Thankfully he was made up of nothing but body parts, none of which he'd feel particularly sentimental about keeping. Like an estate sale, if Bella saw something she wanted, odds are it would be given without a second thought.
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Bella Blase via Instagram Stories (bellablase)
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When you reach age eighteen, you can enlist in the military, Or you can buy your first pack of smokes. Your sister is downwind. You laugh it off and say, “Hold your breath, Bella.” But your smile is just as fake as the feeling that boy got when he thought you were a girl he knew from back home. You just let him believe whatever he wanted. We both know how Mom smoked when she was pregnant, How our aunt always told us that it was the bonfire That we smelled on her clothes, How Grandpa would step outside every few hours Without saying a word. But my memories were never clouded with any of that. For a long time, my safety net was the sound of My mom turning on the bath for my little brother in the morning. My little sister would use a toothbrush That had cartoon characters on it. My older sister would dunk her nappy hair Under the tap in the sink before Mom tried her best to tame it. I can still smell the heavy cologne that my older brother Spritzed on himself before heading off to his first day of high school. We were a liquid family, fluid and calm, Until just a single stone was dropped in our home, then A typhoon came to ask, “Where’d you get that bruise, Blase?” “Who were you in a fight with, Jack?” Even after we were too poor to go to beaches, we mimicked The warmth of the sand, the strength of the tide, The size of the sun. We created our own fortress on an imaginary island. I think the heat got to us eventually. I learned to salivate at the sound of a lighter sparking, Smiling underneath the blanket of smoke. When your sister sees you smoke for the first time, she doesn’t know that nicotine is safer than Sitting alone in the parking lot, Waiting for something familiar To kickstart a safer memory in your head. She just sees a boy talking to her sister. You don’t correct him when he calls you the wrong name again. “It doesn’t matter,” you tell your sister. “Hold your breath, Bella.”
#writing#poetry#poets on tumblr#spilled ink#oprheus#button poetry#lifeinpoetry#cool suggestion#irlpoetic#my writing#poems#my poems#words
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Gosh, I have to agree with:
Bella’s distance and emotional removal
her perception of Jacob, as being someone who distracts and reorients her in Edward’s absence
the inconsistency of the identification of who would be murdering the humans--the seeing Laurent and the timeline of her knowledge of the events and others’ experiences
Bella’s hypocrisy and selfishness that the series highlights yet also approves of
Bella did care about the Volterra victims’ deaths enough to go into something like a panic attack. Perhaps that could have only or also been brought on by the high stress she has since learning Edward was trying to kill himself, then travelling to Volterra, then confronting the Volturi with both their violence against Edward and their strange skin and movements (or just too inhuman, unlike the Cullens). Perhaps it was all this and then she reached her limit when she herself was placed so close to those basically lured to their deaths.
And, as @troquantary points out, the disappearances and murders of the people (which I assume that were the victims of Laurent in New Moon) have a similar kind of distance that resembles the distance of her vampire boyfriend’s past. Though not quite the exact same kind of distance, the effect of that distance is similar to the distance of Edward’s past in that both allows her to allow the lack of rebuke or disgust.
With Edward’s past, he murdered people that most people don’t have as much sympathy for as people who don’t murder, rape, etc., so Bella not feeling for those people seems typical of people to me. As for the victims of nomadic vampires, assuming those victims in New Moon of “bear” then “wolf” attacks--who she didn’t know were mostly Laurent’s at the time of her thinking Jacob’s a murderer--those victims’ disappearances matter because of their proximity to those close to her: Charlie had to go out to shoot the “wolves” hurting people. A “could”, when it comes to death and violence, is equivalent to “is” for several people. (This isn’t necessarily a good thing, but a thing that is frequent in human thinking.) The perpetrator(s) were threats to him and those in Forks/La Push (Billy).
As for Bella’s being “pretty blasé about the value of human life throughout the series in general”, I wouldn’t say she’s totally indifferent or unimpressed to human life. There are instances where she expresses sadness over the murders apart form the debatable Volturi reaction. In Eclipse, when she displays the only clear consideration of what being a vampire is like after she learns what a newborn is, she has a moment of thinking about the victims’ dreams and families. Perhaps one could argue that this is brought on by her encountering the blase and dehumanizing violence of the Volturi in New Moon; but I think it should at least be accounted for as we analyze Bella’s regard for human life.
I do agree with the weirdness of her wanting to be a vampire with the possibility of her accidentally killing humans, though. There could be dissociation happening there that just adds to Bella not fully considering the reality of vampire life.
As for
Plus, if she thinks it’s so reasonable that Edward would split off from Carlisle and go on a murder tour, why is she even fazed by the Volturi’s tourist feast? Like, okay, it’s probably shocking to actually be in the same building as it’s happening, but earlier in the same fucking book Bella had to ask Carlisle why he bothered not eating people. She isn’t exactly coming from the perspective that human life is sacrosanct, and it makes her look very bad when she can’t believe that Gianna would want to be “one of them” when hours later she’s begging Edward to turn her.
As it was mentioned before, Bella sees the reason in Edward killing those people because she perceives his actions as coming from a place of trying to be moral/nonviolent to undeserving humans. While the Volturi don’t care what kind of person you are--you’re just food lured to them. The very prospect of being just food to be slaughtered is both reasonably harrowing for Bella (and to most humans) AND/OR a reflection of what I said was possibly a final straw/result of her being in high stress for such a long period of time.
Now with Bella asking Carlisle why he “bothered”, I took it to her recognizing that the struggle not to kill humans was so difficult for these instinct/pain-driven vampires that we/Bella are supposed to surmise that most vampires either can’t or won’t restrain themselves because they have decided it’s too either/both too hard/not important enough to restrain themselves from killing humans AND when they first kill humans they might as well kill a few more (sunk-cost fallacy). And that most vampires would not understand or care to understand why Carlisle would bother.
So vampires learn to dissociate themselves from humans and see them as not worth the effort of that restraint. So it seemed--to me--that Bella herself, or Meyer writing through the character, is trying to understand how Carlisle thinks. How, more than why (but not exclusively) Carlisle decides to hunt animals and restrain himself. How did he come to the conclusions and decisions that he did and has?
As for Gianna wanting to be “one of them”, maybe I’m assuming that it wasn’t already known that the “them” is specifically the Volturi and not just vampires in general. But that.
And it’s clear that Bella separates the Volturi and nomadic vampires from the Cullens using the Cullen’s “devotion” to not killing humans based on Carlisle’s non-violence/humans-are-people principles. Gianna wants to be a Volturi vampire specifically (to Bella), while Bella wants to be a Cullen vampire. Presumably just b/c of being with Edward forever, but there is some evidence in Breaking Dawn that suggests that she wants/likes being a vampire for the sake of being beautiful and powerful. And even before that, she repeatedly expresses the beauty and strength of both veggie and non veggie vampires (Jane, Alec, Laurent, the Denalis).
The “goodness” of being a vampire tends to stick to the Cullens. Partly because she never interacted with a possible “good” nonveggie vampire apart from the Cullens and the Denali sister prior to becoming a vampire herself. James, Victoria, and Laurent certainly weren’t “good”, the Volturi are forever evil to her, and the newborns are distant forces of evil and destruction who inform her of what she will become--even Bree who she only saw out of control and thirsty for her blood.
So Bella can’t/won’t understand why Gianna would want to join the ultimate evil that she perceives is the Volturi when the Volturi don’t care about human life for the sake of human life. It appears to boggle her mind why Gianna would care so much less for humans.
But here is where I also call hypocrisy and simplistic/reductionist writing on Meyer’s part. Bella could have been more of an unreliable narrator instead of the self-insert, quasi-Mary Sue that Meyer makes her to be when she writes the entire series towards the Cullens-are-unequivocally-good principle.
I also think that Bella doesn’t treat human life as exactly sacred. She did have that moment of considering Edward and the others “cheat” a little in Eclipse after she learns human blood makes them a tiny bit stronger. Though she immediately rebukes herself, it still reveals that she isn’t that sympathetic towards humanity when it’s their lives vs. Edward’s life.
I still don't understand how there are so many incarnations of the same "I can't believe bella got mad at Jacob when she thought he was killing people but not Edward for killing people" posts like...this is one of the only bella-isms that makes sense to me: Edward killed people for a few years almost 60 years before bella was even born and never again since, she thought Jacob was actively currently killing people in the nearest big city, that's different! I feel like the more pressing issues here are: 1. Why did she even think it was the wolves in the first place when she saw Laurent in person like two weeks prior (/the lack of continuity between finding out the "animal attacks" in twilight were vampires versus not connecting new "animal attacks" to vampires this time lol) and 2. Why she didn't even care that much when 40 people were slaughtered in Volterra in her hearing range but she cared about the spattering of disappearances that didn't even affect anyone in her life!?
Like, I guess she hadn't heard the story of Taha Aki at that point so I could suspend disbelief a little bit that she thought werewolves=people eaters but again, she had literally JUST seen Laurent so that would need to be switched around, timeline wise, if I'm really gonna believe that she would connect the wolves to the murders and not the nomad vampires. And I would believe that she would react to current murders with "what the hell dude stop killing people!" if she was shown to care about active murders again later in LITERALLY the same book. Alternatively, if it had been Bella's friends and classmates going missing I would believe that she cared more about those cases than the mass murder of strangers in Volterra. Anyway!
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Cat my blood type Is Coffee shirt
Cat my blood type Is Coffee shirt
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Gerrit the Adventurer: A great learning
Was für ein Anfang. Es geht also doch. Nun bin ich zumindest schonmal fast in Österreich. Entspannt lasse ich mich auf einer Parkbank nieder und beobachte meine Umgebung. Autos zischen im Minutentakt an mir vorbei, während LKWs sich für die Nacht vorbereiten. Halb sieben in Österreich.
Nach kurzer Zeit schon, packte mich wieder die Neugier und die Vorfreude, wies denn nun weitergeht. Ich frage zuerst bei den umliegenden Autos und dann bei einem Wohnmobil, dabei erschrecke ich fast ein älteres Ehepaar, dass voller Gedanken in der riesigen Faltkarte nach einem geeigneten Campingplatz in der Nähe suchte, um die Nacht zu überbrücken. Leider können sie mich also nicht mitnehmen. Zurück auf der gewohnten Parkbank schaue ich mich abermals um und frage einen Frankfurter, Aufgefallen ist er mir durch seinen überdimensionalen SUV der Marke Maserati. Abseits dieses ersten Eindruckes und des typischen Klischee eines reichen Unternehmers ist er aber total nett und freundlich, würde mich sogar mitnehmen, wenn er nicht sein Wagen bis zum Rand hin voll hätte.
Nach dieser Ernüchterung kommt plötzlich ein roter VW-Bus zum Parkplatz. Heraus steigt ein schon auf den ersten Blick sympathischer Mann. Ich komme sofort mit ihm ins Gespräch, muss mir aber leider absagen, da sein Wagen komplett voll geladen mit Kitesurfstuff ist. Ehe ich mich versehe, ist er im Rasthof verschwunden. Mist, wieder nichts. So langsam wollte ich dann doch weiter. Als er zurückkommt, lächelt er mich zum zweiten Mal an und fragt mich, wo ich denn hinwill. „Wenn man ein bisschen hinten umräumt, sollte es gehen. Und so war es auch. Gerrit ist mein neuer „Mitnehmer.“ Zwar nicht auf dem Weg nach Lissabon, aber immerhin Richtung Süden, genauer gesagt zu seiner Surfschule am Gardasee. Das passt doch perfekt. Ich bin zwar noch kein ausgelernter Surfer, nichts desto trotz teile ich in gewisser Weise ihren entspannten Lebensstil. Und dann auch noch in nem Surfervan. Ich fühle mich sofort wohl.
Gerrit trampte wenig in seinem Leben, doch hat er um einiges mehr zu erzählen als ich. Er erlebte das wahre „Durchschlagen“ und reiste viel. Und das alles in einer Zeit, in der ich noch nicht mal auf der Welt war. Beeindruckend. Mit Motorrad und 10$ Budget pro Tag, fuhr er durch die Staaten, früher was das möglich, heute ist es unvorstellbar. Kostet doch das Ticket durch die national Parks schon mindestens 200$. Da kommt mir wieder der Spruch: „Früher war alles besser“ in den Sinn, doch das stimmt nicht. Sicherlich war früher das Leben deutlich bezahlbarer, doch hatte man die Möglichkeiten, was man heute hat?! Von GPS über WIFI bis hin zum Couchsurfing. Auch bei meine Tramp-reise ist Wifi sehr hilfreich, doch geht nichts über die Hilfsbereitschaft der Menschen, denen ich begegne.
Wie sich herausstellte, ist Gerrit Pilot der Lufthansa, sonst in Uniform mit der Crew sitzt er heute ganz lässig in seinem VW-Bus und fährt für sein Hobby Kitesurfen zum Gardasee. Ganz ohne Druck und Vorschriften. Durch sein Interesse an Modellflugzeugen und seinen Auslandsaufenthalten durch den Job seines Papas in den Niederladen, bringt er all das mit, um das schier unmögliche Auswahlverfahren als Pilot zu meistern. Vieles im Leben erlernte er sich selbst. Ob es das Wick-Schweißen ist, oder eigenständig sein Eigenheim umzubauen. „Das teuerste am Handwerk ist doch die Zeit“, meint er. Wenn du diese investieren kannst, lernst du nicht nur etwas fürs Leben, sondern sparst dir auch noch richtig Geld. Und damit hat er absolut recht. Nach kurzer Espresso -und Paninibreak geht es weiter Richtung Gardasee. Wir sprachen über Weltwirtschaft und die Realität in Afrika. Wir leben hier in Deutschland ja in unserer Blase, im Wohlstand und vermeintlich ohne Sorgen. Durch seine Langstreckenflüge hat Gerrit schon viel in der Welt gesehen und erlebt, auch viel Leid miterlebt. Von Herunterwirtschaften eines ganzen Kontinents bis zu den Streetcriminals in Brasilien. Damit Deutschland so sicher bleibt, müssen wir viel investieren. Da geb ich ihm absolut recht.
Mit einem lachenden und einem weinenden Auge schau ich Gerrit nach. Er düst weiter Richtung Gardasee und ich versuche nach Lissabon zu kommen. Hier trennen sich also unsere Wege. Einerseits ein zu schnelles Ende unserer horizonterweiternden Gespräche, andererseits auch die Freude, meinem Ziel wieder ein Stückchen näher zu sein. Zeit für ein Abschiedsfoto bleibt natürlich noch. Dann bricht er aber auf. Mitten in der Nacht um halb 12 auf einem dürftig beleuchteten Rasthof in bella Italia.
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